Secured Proposal

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Wed, Nov 6, 2013 at 9:21 AM
From: Pankaj Xxxxxxx <pxxxxxxx@creol.ucf.edu>
To: adamshafer@gmail.com

I have a secured Proposal for you; Email me ( xxxxxxx00@outlook.com ) For Details

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Wed, Nov 6, 2013 at 10:41 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Pankaj Kadwani <pxxxxxxx@creol.ucf.edu>, xxxxxxx00@outlook.com

Dearest Pankaj,

I have been anxiously awaiting your email. For the past four years, I have been scouring the globe, searching for that elusive theatrical beast of a movie, The Proposal. I am the biggest Sandra Bullock fan you will ever meet. Also, if I was gay, (WHICH I AM TOTALLY NOT GAY SO DON’T EVEN ASK IF I’LL DO GAY STUFF WITH YOU BECAUSE I’LL PROBABLY SAY NO) that Ryan Reynolds could sure sink my battleship (DON’T TAKE THAT AS GAY BECAUSE I’M NOT GAY).

Obviously, if you’ve secured the movie, you have watched it… probably multiple times because it is so amazing. When I watch the movie again (which will be view #432 for me) I’m going to wear a black ladies’ business suit, just like Sandra does in the movie. I feel like if I am dressed like her, I can really get into all of the lovemaking scenes between her and Ryan (<3). I can even undress at the same time she does. Don't take this as me being gay, because I'm as straight as an arrow... Totally NOT gay in the slightest. Oh man, do I love boobs. Boobs and vaginas are my favorite. I'm totally not into guys. Have you seen the attached photo of Ryan, shirtless, wearing super-thin pajama pants? It’s probably my favorite photo of all time. Last year, I took it to Wal-Mart’s photo processing center and had a life-sized version of it created. From there, it was on to Michael’s craft store where I had it framed in a very elaborate, very classy frame. It cost me a pretty penny, but to this very day, it hangs in my bathroom so I can be with Ryan when I get out of the shower each morning. We hug a lot, but totally in a bro-like hug, not something gay. I’m not gay. I just like it when he holds me in the nude. I noticed that the email address you used to send this awesome news to me is different than the email address you asked me to respond to. Is that because you’re hiding your true identity to be sure that no thieves are aware that you have a copy of The Proposal? That’s super gay of you, but I can respect that. Adam

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