Safely in Dallas

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Sun, Aug 10, 2014 at 5:31 PM
From: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Hello,
We had a fairly successful pastors’ conference last week. On the way back to Dallas, Ambilike missed the flight that he needed a new ticket for him to travel in time. Our gracious God provided the needed funds and made the travel possible. Please join us in thanking God for His provision! Thank you also for prayers and giving which made this year’s mission trip a success! We will tell more about the trip in the next newsletter!
On his arrival, he found Deborah and the children are fine even as they sadly count down the days back to school! Of course, Rahab is the exception as she is looking forward to going to college for the first time! Kindly, thank God with us for His goodness to us! Have a blessed weekend.
Ambilike & Deborah

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Sun, Aug 10, 2014 at 9:10 PM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Yo homies,

One time I missed a flight and was stuck in Norway for six days. I was then captured by a group of bandits and was forced to consume only crab cakes and buttermilk while imprisoned. It’s not part of my life I like to talk about, but I thought I’d bring it up since it is so relevant to your message.

Have you talked to Pastor Charlie J lately? That dude has so much swag, it’s unbelievable.

#YOLO,
Adam

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Mon, Aug 11, 2014 at 4:45 AM
From: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>

Hi Adam,
Good to hear from you! Great to learn that God protected in a situation similar to what I experience last week! Were your captors seeking money or another thing in return to your release?
I would love to talk to Pastor Charlie one day.
Ambilike

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Tue, Aug 12, 2014 at 8:58 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Word to your mothers,

I do thank the Lord each and every day for helping me to escape those Nasty Norweigians. Note the capitalization of the “N” in Nasty. I am not saying that all Norwegians are nasty. This is actually the name of the gang that captured me. The Nasty Norwegians are feared throughout the land. Instead of weilding knives and guns, they make razor sharp snowballs and threaten people with them. Those who do not obey their strange requests meet certain doom at the hands of a 100mph snowball fastball. Terrifying.

I am not sure what the correlation between the gang, crabcakes, and buttermilk is. I have not heard of any others who were forced to endure such a terrible thing. Maybe they were just experimenting on me, much like the aliens do when they abduct people out of their homes in the middle of the night. I certainly hope that doesn’t happen to me. I’m not sure I can emotionally handle that. Even now, I shudder when I see a buttermilk pancake, and get physically ill at the smell of any sort of seafood.

To answer your question, I’m not sure what they were seeking. I did not give them money or any information. They simply let me go on the sixth day of captivity. I was in shock, so I swung by McDonald’s for a McFlurry, went to the airport, and made SURE not to miss my flight that time. That’ll teach me to miss flights!

With all the love of the Hamburglar,
Adam

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Wed, Aug 13, 2014 at 5:10 AM
From: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>

It is surprising that people can do such things to another person! Their name seems to match with their behavior! Sad that they left you with a ‘medical’ condition!
Ambilike

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Thu, Aug 14, 2014 at 8:54 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Yo,

It is very surprising. My mother always said, “never trust a Norwegian.” I now understand why she said that on a daily basis.

On a related note, how do you feel about the use of drones in United States parks?

Adam

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Thu, Aug 14, 2014 at 10:00 AM
From: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>

Adam,
It is indeed surprising!
I do not know anything about the use of drones in US national parks! Would you tell me something about it!
Ambilike

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Thu, Aug 14, 2014 at 3:46 PM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Holla,

So, here’s what’s up, as far as I can tell. These damn Norwegians (PROBABLY) come over to our beautiful parks and fly these remote control planes around. Then they kamikaze them into unsuspecting families while screaming “BOOMSHAKALAKA!” like some sort of NBA Jam announcer. I’m not sure the meaning of this, but as long as they’re not stuffing crab cakes down my throat, I’m not sure that I should care.

One other question. Is there any possible way to do a wheelie on a unicycle? I’ve been trying for MONTHS.

Adam

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Thu, Aug 14, 2014 at 5:58 PM
From: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
To: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>

Adam,
A unicycle is like a wheelie by itself. I wonder how can it be wheelied again!
Ambilike

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Mon, Aug 18, 2014 at 8:00 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: Ambilike Xxxxxxxx <axxxxxxx@yahoo.com>

Emps,

Sorry for the 4-day delay between messages. I’ve been trying to figure out the statement from your last email; out in the driveway on my unicycle. For four days I’ve pondered the same “HOW CAN IT BE WHEELIED AGAIN?” This is some deep thinking. I’ve studied the physics behind the unicycle. I smoked some trees and laid in the grass, just staring at this modern marvel. There simply MUST be a way to wheelie it again.

I WILL FIND A WAY.

Adam

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