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Mon, Mar 17, 2014 at 4:12 PM
From: muhammad sXXXX XX <sXXXXXXXXX@gmail.com>
To: adam.shafer@gmail.com


Find attached our purchase order. Kindly quote us best price and send us proforma invoice asap, so that we can proceed with the necessary payment, We need this Order in Ecuador.kindly confirm the PO and send PI asap.

We would appreciate a quick reply.
Best regards,


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Tue, Mar 18, 2014 at 8:32 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: muhammad sXXXX XX <sXXXXXXXXX@gmail.com>

My Dearest Muhammed,

I truly appreciate you e-mailing me this purchase order, but I do not know how to open the .rar file that you have attached. Could you please send me instructions on how to do so?

Speaking of Ecuador, last time I was there, I lost my phone. Speaking of lost things, can you believe that they can’t find Flight 370? One time I was on a flight and I fell asleep. When I woke up, almost everyone on the whole plane had vanished. Luckily there was an off-duty pilot on board who landed the plane. When we got off of the plane and into the airport, it was completely empty with no signs of life. After a bunch of weirdness, a couple people go crazy. Then… and you’re not going to BELIEVE this part: THESE GODDAMN MEATBALL MONSTERS START FLYING AROUND EATING EVERYTHING! Can you believe that? Meatball monsters all over the place. Now, I’m all about worship of the flying spaghetti monster (http://www.venganza.org) but this was just an abomination; a party foul to say the least.

At that point, I’m all like “F all this jazz” and decide we need to fuel up the plane and get out of there. So that’s what we did. Landed that mother right in Los Angeles. So we get off the plane that that dump was ALSO abandoned. No biggie though, just some time warp shit going on. Within a few minutes, everyone appeared again and all was cool. I also saw Pauly Shore there and got his autograph.

What did you think of the movie Bio-Dome? I thought it was pretty rad. I think the Rotten Tomatoes rating of 5% is a load of bullshit and fully expect to write them a strongly-worded letter in the near future about this flawed review on their site. (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/biodome)

I love you.

Adam Shafer

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