Fwd: Patricia, let’s get you started on your new iPhone 5c

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Mon, Dec 2, 2013 at 4:52 PM
From: pXXXXXX@stny.rr.com <pXXXXXX@stny.rr.com>
To: adamshafer@gmail.com

I thought you might want this for when your phone arrives. I will see you 3 weeks from tomorrow!!!!!

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Tue, Dec 3, 2013 at 8:23 AM
From: Adam Shafer <adam@adamshafer.com>
To: pXXXXXX@stny.rr.com

Yo Moms,

I am SUPER stoked for my new iPhone 5C. STEVE JOBS UP IN HERE!

Speaking of Steve Jobs, did you see the new Hunger Games movie? That shit was OFF THE CHAIN. Haymitch be all chuggin’ four ohs like all damn day. Effie be all dressin’ to the nines keepin’ it real. Bitches be all shootin’ arrows at each other, trying to chop each other with axes. I seen lightnin’ and shit all up in that tree. Those other tribute bitches straight up tricked Katniss into thinking they were just going to zap some careers and then BOOOOOOOOM, that nerdy dude STRAIGHT UP CHANGED THE GAME. TIK TOK THAT SHIT, YOU CAPITAL HATERS. That mofo President Snow is straight up EVIL TO DA CORE. After I got done seein’ that business, I turned to my homeboy D$ and was all like “yo, D$, that flick was tight, but it DEFINITELY WASN’T NO ‘DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR'”! That playa knew what I was sayin’. That movie be tight. Homeboy be crazy. Represent.

Anyways, I’m getting off topic. Did you see the nation’s top story on USAtoday.com? http://goo.gl/VTB5WU … KOURTNEY IS NO LONGER THE MOST POPULAR BABY NAME!?!? I can’t even believe this. Also, the article says that parents are now choosing meaningful family members to name their babies after rather than celebrities. I do NOT at all agree with this, and stand by my decision that my baby boy will be named “Kanyeezus” and baby girl “Oprahova”. Name your kids after a meaningful family member? NOT IN MY HOUSE. BOOM, SHAQ ATTACK! Holla back if you feel me, girlfriend.

Alright, I need to get back to rollin’ my blunts. Catch you on the flipside, homeskillet.

P Funk

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